Emily G. Stroud

True Wealth Comes from God

Hey Girl – Build Your Tribe

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Find your tribe of friends 

Friend look around. Get off your iPhone and stop wasting time staring at a screen. If you’re in college, walk to the other side of campus.  Hang out at the student center.  Sit next to someone new in every class. If you’re at work or at your child’s school, ask people how they’re doing and genuinely listen.

No matter what stage of life you’re in, ask people questions and start a conversation.  Just see where it leads.  Everyone has a story. By engaging others in life, you’ll find the treasured friends who will make you a better version of yourself.

Next to Jesus, friends are the best gift you can give yourself.

Believe it or not, the friends I made in college over 25 years ago are still part of my life today.  When life is hard, they are the ones I call for comfort and encouragement.  When life is exciting, they are also the ones I call. When my book, Faithful Finance, was nationally published against all odds at the age of 43, they showed up to help me celebrate. Why? Because that’s what we do for one another.  We celebrate victories and we sit with one another during difficulties.

Career Milestones

After everyone else left my book launch party, the tribe and I laughed at the absurdity of anyone asking for my autograph. We ate dinner and drank wine and told old stories that may or may not have been exaggerated until late at night.  It couldn’t have been a more perfect way to celebrate a major milestone in my life. Over the years, the tribe has walked many miles chatting and wondering what the future would hold.

Would we get married?  Would we be successful?  Would we find happiness?  Where would we live? Would we have children? Would tragedy strike, and if so, when?  Would we be able to handle what life would bring?

Marriage and Divorce

We’ve seen each other through breakups and dried each other’s tears. Everyone in the tribe kissed a few frogs before finding happily ever after. Eventually, there were engagement rings and weddings when we celebrated and danced until dawn.  We wore bridesmaid’s dresses that we promised each other we could wear again some day.  That was a lie and we all knew it.  No one wears those dresses again. We laugh about it now.

No one story within the tribe is the same.  One member has been divorced. She modeled for us how to come out on the other side of a very difficult situation, both better and stronger. She eventually found her happily ever after as well. She’s now married to her prince charming and an amazing mother of boy-girl twins. She showed us that divorce doesn’t have to define who you are as a person, or limit your future happiness.

Motherhood

Another member of our tribe was the first to become a mother.  I remember my twenty-something self being in awe of the awesome responsibility of being a parent.  I didn’t even feel equipped to take care of my own self at that time in life. I distinctly remember sitting on the floor of her bathroom while giving her baby boy a bath.  I was terrified that I would drop that precious, slippery baby.  He is now 6 feet 7 inches tall.  She reassured me that babies are much more resilient than we think they are. Most importantly, she taught me that you can have a career and be a mother, but you have to find your own rhythm and pace.

Personal Battles

One member of the tribe has battled depression. I feel very protective of her even though she doesn’t need me to do so.  She impresses me now with her quiet confidence. I know how far she has come and how hard she worked to get healthy.  She has built a life with her husband and children while having a career she loves.  She has taught us all to listen to our inner self more, and the noise and expectations of the world less.

There were also struggles with infertility inside the tribe in our thirties.  We waited for positive pregnancy test results that took longer than we had hoped. However, the waiting made the births all the more special.  Members of the tribe, including myself, experienced unexpected health crises over the years and the stress of watching aging parents grow old before our eyes. We’ve also learned to be wives and  mothers through on the job training. We’ve all come to the sobering realization that there is no dress rehearsal for life.

You might be wondering how we have stayed friends for so many years. The key to keeping the tribe together is to be intentional.  We make time for one another.  There are group texts and inside jokes. It’s not easy and often inconvenient to plan a girls’ weekend once a year.  Every time we’re together we pick up where we left off.  It’s as though no time has passed at all.  The best part is we don’t have to retell our stories.  We just know.  And we accept one another as we are. Oh sure, we disagree on things, but that makes our conversations more interesting.  We have different political views, different careers, and even different parenting styles.  None of our differences matter because we have a mutual respect for one another.  Our history and our stories bind us together.  There really is comfort and peace in knowing that no matter what, our tribe will stand together.

Knowing Who Your People Are

My tribe is entering the second half of life.  A lot will  hopefully stay the same, but a lot will have to change.  For example, children are going to graduate high school and leave the nest.  This seems horribly frightening to me.  I’m grateful to have friends a couple of steps ahead of me. They will pave the way for doing this well.  I know they will encourage me and hold my hand when it’s my turn to launch my kids into the world.  I pray that my kids will also find their own tribe of friends one day.

My encouragement to you today, no matter what stage of life you’re in, is to be a friend to others. The best way to have good friends is to be a friend someone else would want. Choose friends who can both celebrate your victories and dry your tears when a dream has been shattered.  Taking the time to build lasting friendships is one of the best investments you can make in your life.

Please remember that the journey of building a tribe never has to end.  You can build many tribes of friends over a lifetime.  I now have other tribes of friends made up of mothers and fathers from my children’s schools.  We are in the trenches together raising kids side by side.  I also have friends from work, friends from church, and even precious neighbor friends who happen to live and do life with me on a daily basis. My life is so much richer for the friends I have made.  I never want to be exclusive and think that my friend circle cannot enlarge. There is an old saying that says: Make New Friends But Keep the Old, One is Silver and the Other is Gold.  I think there is a lot of truth in that old rhyme.  Friends truly are a precious commodity.  #FaithfulFinance

 

Budgeting for Back-to-School

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If you’re a parent, you know that this time of year is unbelievably hectic. From yearly physicals and dental appointments to getting your kids and yourself back on a regular routine, there are so many additional things on our to-do lists and tasks to stress about.

Stroud Family

The financial implications of getting kids ready to go back to school is often an additional stressor for parents. When you’ve just taken a big family vacation and paid for summer camp, how do you juggle the financial headaches of back-to-school?

If you’re feeling the strain, financially or otherwise, please know that you’re not alone. According to the National Retail Federation, back-to-school spending for K-12 schools and college is projected to reach a record $82.8 billion this year. Yes, Billion with a “B”.

 

While that number sounds completely overwhelming, there are a few ways you can relieve financial stress this time of year. Here are a few tips to help you reduce stress and stay on budget during the back-to-school season:

  • Prepare a detailed budget…and then stick to it. Yes, you’ve probably heard this one before. How many times have you thought about creating a budget but haven’t taken the time to do it? It’s just another item on your long to-do list. I recommend planning out every expense for the month on paper, including back-to-school expenses, and then writing down each expenditure as it happens to stay on track. If you have a realistic monthly budget that you actually commit to following, it will allow you to live a more peaceful life from a financial standpoint. If you need a budget worksheet to get started, I’m happy to send one your way so you have no excuses. Simply visit my website, www.emilygstroud.com, and enter your email address when prompted. Then I’ll personally send you a FREE copy of my online budget planner that’s normally reserved just for clients.
  • Get your kids in on the action. Let your kids help you with the back-to-school budget by allowing them to look through the ads for sales, track your spending at the store, and take inventory of what they have and what they still need. We all have to make choices in life, especially about how we spend our money. I believe this exercise will help teach your child valuable life skills by allowing them to make some decisions on their own. For example, if your son really wants a more expensive backpack than what you have budgeted for, then he will have to reduce spending somewhere else. He then may choose less expensive tennis shoes in order to have the backpack he really wants. Name brand items usually cost more. Encourage your kids to communicate to you what is important and what’s not important to them. I promise this will make back-to-school shopping more fun for everyone!
  • Don’t spend needlessly. I believe it’s important to pause before you actually go shopping to take stock of why and howyou’re spending your hard-earned money. If you’re aware of the way your brain responds to shopping, it can help you make sense of the highs and lows of impulse buying. This is often referred to as retail therapy. Believe it or not, your brain actually releases dopamine at the sight of beautiful store displays and even the thought of acquiring new stuff.

If you follow these tips and really stick to your budget, I promise you will be set up for success as your kids head back to the classroom.

For more tips on planning for your financial future, pick up a copy of my newest book, “Faithful Finance: 10 Secrets to Move from Fearful Insecurity to Confident Control.” “Faithful Finance” is my practical guide, revealing ten life-changing secrets that work in every financial situation, for every income level, at every stage of life.

Debt – It’s Not All Bad

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shopping bags

One of the secrets to achieving financial freedom is learning to manage debt wisely. It used to be that having a credit card was a luxury or a rarity, but now most households have several of them. We can get exactly what we want today, regardless of whether or not we can actually afford it. If we’re not careful, we can become overextended on credit cards—it’s quite a slippery slope financially.

Just like any sin, a little is fun. We all like new stuff because it’s exciting to get new things. Current studies regarding brain research show how shopping activates key areas of the brain, making us feel better and boosting our mood, at least temporarily. Gazing into a beautifully decorated holiday window, or locating a hard-to-find toy, taps into the brain’s reward center, triggering the release of brain chemicals that give you a “shopping high.” This is where the term “retail therapy” comes from.

If you’re aware of the way your brain responds to shopping, it can help you make sense of the highs and lows of impulse shopping, avoid buyer’s remorse, and lower your risk for overspending. Shopping really can become addictive if you’re not careful. Under a mountain of stuff and debt, you may end up somewhere you never intended.

The Bible does not say that debt is a sin. However, debt essentially enslaves us to the one who provides the loan. Just like anything else that can be addictive if abused, a little is okay but a lot is overwhelming. At the same time, in some situations going into debt is a wise move financially. Debt can be used to purchase an item that will eventually lead you to financial freedom.

Examples of good debts are mortgages to purchase a home, or loans to start a business that will provide income for your family. As long as money is being handled wisely and the debt payments are manageable, it’s not sinful to take on debt. However, we’re required to pay back what we borrow. It’s very easy to take this lightly, but if we borrow it, the debt is our responsibility to pay back.

Obviously, in order to become financially independent, we have to save more money and spend less money. Taking out a loan is definitely an expense, especially if the interest rate on the loan is high. Please do not ever take on a debt, even a good debt such as a mortgage, if you cannot easily afford the monthly debt service payments based on your current income. In addition, if your income has a tendency to fluctuate from time to time, please take that fact into consideration as well before ever signing for a new loan.

Learning to avoid consumer debt is a paradigm shift for those who have gotten into the habit of putting everything on a credit card. Because credit cards are so easy to use, they can become a terrible temptation and financial snare to some people. If you find it difficult to pay your credit card balance in full each month, I advise you to cut up your credit card, work on paying off your current debt, and go to an all-cash system.

Some people keep credit cards for emergencies or international travel needs, but to avoid temptation, they will actually freeze the credit card in a block of ice! That way, if the temptation or legitimate need arises to use the credit card, they have to go through the trouble of defrosting it, literally, before they can use it. The frozen credit card is a deterrent that gives them time to consider whether or not the use of the credit card is a wise choice or not.

Friend, the takeaway here is to learn to control your spending,

not let your spending control you.

I want to advise you to do a self-evaluation of your spending habits. You’re the only person in the world who knows whether or not you have self-control when it comes to the use of credit cards. Having credit cards easily accessible in your purse or wallet at all times, may or may not cause you to spend money irresponsibly.

I want to be honest with you and tell you that I personally use credit cards. This may seem counterintuitive coming from the author of a book about personal finances. I personally use them for convenience. I purchase a lot of items included in my monthly budget with a credit card. For example, I use credit cards to pay expenses related to my children’s school, meal delivery services, and business expenses that require me to have a credit card to pay my bill online.

I also enjoy the benefits of airline miles as rewards for every dollar I spend. This rewards program saves my family thousands of dollars in travel expenses each year. Traveling and seeing the world is one of our passions. We look for ways to make it as affordable as possible.

I also use credit cards because I’ve learned to be disciplined and pay them off every month. As a result, I never pay late fees or interest on my purchases. I know that anything I charge on my credit card has to be included in my monthly budget. This is non-negotiable.

Take some time to reflect on this discussion about the use of credit cards and the management of all types of debt, both good and bad. If you’re married, please consider having an open and honest conversation with your spouse. Communication and honesty are very important when discussing issues that can either “make you or break you” financially.

If you want to dig deeper and have a much better understanding of how to achieve true financial freedom and manage debt wisely, then I encourage you to purchase a copy of my newly released book: Faithful Finance: 10 Secrets to Move from Fearful Insecurity to Confident Control.

The Potential in Privilege is Great

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One dollar billHe who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?   Romans 8:32

Prosperity and privilege have gotten a bad wrap.

I believe prosperity is a privilege that has unlimited potential to bless others. Please don’t get defensive if this seems elitist or arrogant on my part. In reality, prosperity and privilege are relative.  If you have access to clean running water in your home, you are privileged by the world’s standards. I’m not talking about prosperity that’s used to fund a lavish lifestyle. Instead, I’m referring to the great potential that financial resources have to truly make a difference in the world today and in eternity. If you can give $1 or $1,000, you have a chance to participate in kingdom work.

God is in the business of second chances and new beginnings. He gave his Only Son so we could all have access to a new beginning and a new life in eternity with Him.  What do you think would happen if we decided to invest our life and prosperity in others as gratitude for the grace God has freely given to us? The church would reach farther and wider. We would have more disciples and make more disciples.

You probably have heard people say that money and prosperity is evil. There is no place in the Bible that states, “Money is evil.” If you don’t believe me, I challenge you to pick up a Bible and see for yourself. While you’re busy trying to prove me wrong, you’ll be blessed by the inherent Word of God. Either way, you win!

What is evil is the LOVE of money, not money itself. 

Money and Volunteers

Do you know what most ministers will tell you they need to continue the work God has called them to do? Money and Volunteers. Do you know what organizations such as World Vision and Compassion International need to feed, clothe, and educate children living in poverty? Money and Volunteers. Do you know what inner-city schools need to change the trajectory of the future of at-risk youth? Money for supplies and books and volunteers to build relationships with these kids.

Some of us have more time and less money available to contribute to the needs of others. On the other hand, some of us have less time but abundant financial resources available to contribute to make the world a better place.  More often than not, the most generous people I’ve ever met in my life are wealthy by the world’s standards. They are giving freely with open hands and are being blessed abundantly in return. They see their wealth and prosperity as a tool to be used to bless others.  They provide financial support to those in need. They have put their faith in God, rather than the balance in their bank account.  God continues to bless them as they are faithful to bless others.

There may be times in your life when you cannot afford to give or your health will not allow you to serve. That is when you may become the recipient of blessings from others. This is how the church becomes the hands and feet of Jesus.  We take turns serving one another.

Here are just a few examples of how prosperity can be utilized to bless others:

  •  Tithe to the local church
  • Fund adoptions for families with loving homes but fewer financial resources
  • Raise Money to cover the cost to build water wells so more people have access to clean water
  • Provide counseling at crisis pregnancy centers
  • Help provide financial support for missionaries
  • Volunteer at schools to help children learn to read
  • Financially support non-profit ministries and organizations too numerous to list, and.
  • Serve at a local church so it can flourish.

 My challenge to you today is to invest in kingdom causes, rather than in stuff to make you more comfortable. Let’s use the resources God has loaned to us while we’re here on earth to help change lives for the better. As long as we have a pulse, we all have a purpose and can be used by God. We just have to be willing and ready to serve others and to give of our time and our resources.  

In my latest book, Faithful Finance: 10 Secrets to Move from Fearful Insecurity to Confident Control, I talk about how God really does bless us when we intentionally use our time and resources to bless others. I hope you will pick up a copy of my new book. I would love to hear your ideas on how to be more faithful with the financial resources God has provided to us all. #FaithfulFinance

 

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