Emily G. Stroud

True Wealth Comes from God

What if your Mental Illness was Actually Your Super Power

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What if you and I are not actually broken or damaged?

What if God designed us perfectly to do His work? I’ve wrestled with this a lot over the years. What if God designed us uniquely and perfectly, flaws and all, for the specific purpose He has for each and every one of us?

In today’s age, personality differences may be labeled “mental illnesses” or something to be fixed. Over the years,  I’ve been labeled emotional, anxious, an insomniac, a workaholic, a Type A personality, a 1 on the Enneagram chart, highly intelligent but quirky, eccentric, OCD, and I’m certain other labels I would rather not know about it.  I’m also passionate, I love God, and I enjoy solving problems and helping people transform their lives from a financial standpoint. I love deeply and fiercely, and I fight until the end.  I rarely give up.  I go down swinging.  I give life everything I have. I’m all in.  It doesn’t matter what subject we’re on: parenting, my marriage, friendships, real estate transactions, businesses I own and manage, books I write, or other projects I entertain. I give life, my family, and my work everything I have, even when it affects my health.

The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin. 

What if we’re not actually broken or wired incorrectly?  I used to wonder why I couldn’t sit still.  Why was I never content with the status-quo?  Why was I happiest when working on a project?  Why did I have trouble sleeping at night but needed a nap during the day to function at my highest level?

I’ve been to therapists and physicians to figure out what is wrong with me.

You know what I’ve learned?  This is me.  And maybe it’s you too. My brain works over time. I analyze everything. I’m honestly not afraid of trying new things if the potential reward justifies the risk.  Sometimes things don’t work out.  But sometimes they do!  I love closing a deal, negotiating a transaction, and selling a dream.  I come by some of these traits naturally.  Nobody in my immediate family has a regular 9 to 5 job.  It’s just not how we are wired.  That doesn’t mean we don’t work hard. Trust me, we work extremely hard and we have multiple projects and balls in the air at most times. We just have to be our own boss because we’re entrepreneurs by nature.  It seems to be passed down from generation to generation in my family.  Honestly, we’re all probably manic and great candidates for a psychological study. The good news is that it really doesn’t matter.

What if what we thought was our “crazy” was actually how God made us to do His work in such a time as this? 

Maybe there’s nothing wrong with me at all.  Maybe there’s nothing wrong with you either.  Maybe you’re more even-keeled than I am. I admire you and I know that you’re steady and exactly who God designed you to be. The body of Christ is made up of all kinds of personalities. I honestly believe that is His perfect design. There is such peace in knowing we are not designed by accident. 

How would our lives change if we accepted ourselves and others exactly as we are?

I’ve been researching and studying this phenomenon more and more lately. It’s like when you buy a red car and suddenly you see a red car everywhere you go. Entrepreneur magazine recently wrote an entire article about this exact subject. The article claims: “There is a dark brilliance of an entrepreneur’s brain. The exact qualities that label them as crazy, allow them to persevere against all odds, to do amazing things in unique ways that end up changing the world.”  Interesting, huh?

What if each type of “mental illness” had a positive side?

Another example of this phenomenon is dyslexia, which is classified as a mental disability.  Dyslexia has also touched a member of my family.  A teacher recently told me and a group of parents to stop asking God to change our child and take away his or her dyslexia. Instead, change your personal paradigm. Start seeing and believing that dyslexia is a gift.  It’s how God wired your child and the very quality that will shape them into the human being that will go farther, higher, and wider than you ever thought possible.

Dyslexia causes a lot of problems when learning to read. However, it allows a person to see the world through a different lens. Dyslexic people are often entrepreneurs, engineers, inventors, and creative types that make a difference in the world that those of us who are not dyslexic will never get to experience.  Interesting, huh?  What could be seen as a disability is actually a super power. Sometimes our ability to look at life from an upside down and backwards perspective changes us and changes the world in a positive way.

What if your mental illness, disability or challenge was actually not an illness to be cured?

If you truly believed this, how would it change you?  How would it change your family?  How will it change the world?  I would love to hear your thoughts today.  If you have ever wrestled with wondering whether or not you were broken or “not quite right,” please know that you are not alone.

To illustrate my point further, Faithful Finance was born out of a place of “crazy.” To be honest, it was highly unlikely that anyone would take me seriously. You know what though, they did.  It took a lot of time and a lot of work, but eventually a little East Coast publishing house called Zondervan Publishers took it very seriously.

I was and still am, a no-name, female, wife, mother, and Financial Advisor from Texas.  However, I wrote a nationally published book explaining Modern Portfolio Theory, while simultaneously reminding people that a relationship with Jesus Christ is the best life insurance policy. More than likely, if God had designed me with a non-manic, more passive, even-keeled personality that slept better, I would never have entertained the idea of writing Faithful Finance. Please do not misunderstand me.  I’m not bragging.  I don’t take credit for God’s plan for my life. I’ve just tried to be obedient to the special purpose He has for me based on how he designed me in my mother’s womb. My personality has not changed since I was born. I want to encourage you to do the same. Figure out who you are and embrace it with passion and enthusiasm.

Today, I’m excited to let you know that Faithful Finance is coming out with a FREE online workbook just in time for the new year. I want to equip my readers with tools that can help them and their family, personality differences and all, to manage money wisely. By managing your money well, you can live a more fruitful and peaceful life. Stay tuned for more information and announcements coming soon.  #FaithfulFinance

 

 

 

Hey Girl – Build Your Tribe

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Find your tribe of friends 

Friend look around. Get off your iPhone and stop wasting time staring at a screen. If you’re in college, walk to the other side of campus.  Hang out at the student center.  Sit next to someone new in every class. If you’re at work or at your child’s school, ask people how they’re doing and genuinely listen.

No matter what stage of life you’re in, ask people questions and start a conversation.  Just see where it leads.  Everyone has a story. By engaging others in life, you’ll find the treasured friends who will make you a better version of yourself.

Next to Jesus, friends are the best gift you can give yourself.

Believe it or not, the friends I made in college over 25 years ago are still part of my life today.  When life is hard, they are the ones I call for comfort and encouragement.  When life is exciting, they are also the ones I call. When my book, Faithful Finance, was nationally published against all odds at the age of 43, they showed up to help me celebrate. Why? Because that’s what we do for one another.  We celebrate victories and we sit with one another during difficulties.

Career Milestones

After everyone else left my book launch party, the tribe and I laughed at the absurdity of anyone asking for my autograph. We ate dinner and drank wine and told old stories that may or may not have been exaggerated until late at night.  It couldn’t have been a more perfect way to celebrate a major milestone in my life. Over the years, the tribe has walked many miles chatting and wondering what the future would hold.

Would we get married?  Would we be successful?  Would we find happiness?  Where would we live? Would we have children? Would tragedy strike, and if so, when?  Would we be able to handle what life would bring?

Marriage and Divorce

We’ve seen each other through breakups and dried each other’s tears. Everyone in the tribe kissed a few frogs before finding happily ever after. Eventually, there were engagement rings and weddings when we celebrated and danced until dawn.  We wore bridesmaid’s dresses that we promised each other we could wear again some day.  That was a lie and we all knew it.  No one wears those dresses again. We laugh about it now.

No one story within the tribe is the same.  One member has been divorced. She modeled for us how to come out on the other side of a very difficult situation, both better and stronger. She eventually found her happily ever after as well. She’s now married to her prince charming and an amazing mother of boy-girl twins. She showed us that divorce doesn’t have to define who you are as a person, or limit your future happiness.

Motherhood

Another member of our tribe was the first to become a mother.  I remember my twenty-something self being in awe of the awesome responsibility of being a parent.  I didn’t even feel equipped to take care of my own self at that time in life. I distinctly remember sitting on the floor of her bathroom while giving her baby boy a bath.  I was terrified that I would drop that precious, slippery baby.  He is now 6 feet 7 inches tall.  She reassured me that babies are much more resilient than we think they are. Most importantly, she taught me that you can have a career and be a mother, but you have to find your own rhythm and pace.

Personal Battles

One member of the tribe has battled depression. I feel very protective of her even though she doesn’t need me to do so.  She impresses me now with her quiet confidence. I know how far she has come and how hard she worked to get healthy.  She has built a life with her husband and children while having a career she loves.  She has taught us all to listen to our inner self more, and the noise and expectations of the world less.

There were also struggles with infertility inside the tribe in our thirties.  We waited for positive pregnancy test results that took longer than we had hoped. However, the waiting made the births all the more special.  Members of the tribe, including myself, experienced unexpected health crises over the years and the stress of watching aging parents grow old before our eyes. We’ve also learned to be wives and  mothers through on the job training. We’ve all come to the sobering realization that there is no dress rehearsal for life.

You might be wondering how we have stayed friends for so many years. The key to keeping the tribe together is to be intentional.  We make time for one another.  There are group texts and inside jokes. It’s not easy and often inconvenient to plan a girls’ weekend once a year.  Every time we’re together we pick up where we left off.  It’s as though no time has passed at all.  The best part is we don’t have to retell our stories.  We just know.  And we accept one another as we are. Oh sure, we disagree on things, but that makes our conversations more interesting.  We have different political views, different careers, and even different parenting styles.  None of our differences matter because we have a mutual respect for one another.  Our history and our stories bind us together.  There really is comfort and peace in knowing that no matter what, our tribe will stand together.

Knowing Who Your People Are

My tribe is entering the second half of life.  A lot will  hopefully stay the same, but a lot will have to change.  For example, children are going to graduate high school and leave the nest.  This seems horribly frightening to me.  I’m grateful to have friends a couple of steps ahead of me. They will pave the way for doing this well.  I know they will encourage me and hold my hand when it’s my turn to launch my kids into the world.  I pray that my kids will also find their own tribe of friends one day.

My encouragement to you today, no matter what stage of life you’re in, is to be a friend to others. The best way to have good friends is to be a friend someone else would want. Choose friends who can both celebrate your victories and dry your tears when a dream has been shattered.  Taking the time to build lasting friendships is one of the best investments you can make in your life.

Please remember that the journey of building a tribe never has to end.  You can build many tribes of friends over a lifetime.  I now have other tribes of friends made up of mothers and fathers from my children’s schools.  We are in the trenches together raising kids side by side.  I also have friends from work, friends from church, and even precious neighbor friends who happen to live and do life with me on a daily basis. My life is so much richer for the friends I have made.  I never want to be exclusive and think that my friend circle cannot enlarge. There is an old saying that says: Make New Friends But Keep the Old, One is Silver and the Other is Gold.  I think there is a lot of truth in that old rhyme.  Friends truly are a precious commodity.  #FaithfulFinance

 

Budgeting for Back-to-School

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If you’re a parent, you know that this time of year is unbelievably hectic. From yearly physicals and dental appointments to getting your kids and yourself back on a regular routine, there are so many additional things on our to-do lists and tasks to stress about.

Stroud Family

The financial implications of getting kids ready to go back to school is often an additional stressor for parents. When you’ve just taken a big family vacation and paid for summer camp, how do you juggle the financial headaches of back-to-school?

If you’re feeling the strain, financially or otherwise, please know that you’re not alone. According to the National Retail Federation, back-to-school spending for K-12 schools and college is projected to reach a record $82.8 billion this year. Yes, Billion with a “B”.

 

While that number sounds completely overwhelming, there are a few ways you can relieve financial stress this time of year. Here are a few tips to help you reduce stress and stay on budget during the back-to-school season:

  • Prepare a detailed budget…and then stick to it. Yes, you’ve probably heard this one before. How many times have you thought about creating a budget but haven’t taken the time to do it? It’s just another item on your long to-do list. I recommend planning out every expense for the month on paper, including back-to-school expenses, and then writing down each expenditure as it happens to stay on track. If you have a realistic monthly budget that you actually commit to following, it will allow you to live a more peaceful life from a financial standpoint. If you need a budget worksheet to get started, I’m happy to send one your way so you have no excuses. Simply visit my website, www.emilygstroud.com, and enter your email address when prompted. Then I’ll personally send you a FREE copy of my online budget planner that’s normally reserved just for clients.
  • Get your kids in on the action. Let your kids help you with the back-to-school budget by allowing them to look through the ads for sales, track your spending at the store, and take inventory of what they have and what they still need. We all have to make choices in life, especially about how we spend our money. I believe this exercise will help teach your child valuable life skills by allowing them to make some decisions on their own. For example, if your son really wants a more expensive backpack than what you have budgeted for, then he will have to reduce spending somewhere else. He then may choose less expensive tennis shoes in order to have the backpack he really wants. Name brand items usually cost more. Encourage your kids to communicate to you what is important and what’s not important to them. I promise this will make back-to-school shopping more fun for everyone!
  • Don’t spend needlessly. I believe it’s important to pause before you actually go shopping to take stock of why and howyou’re spending your hard-earned money. If you’re aware of the way your brain responds to shopping, it can help you make sense of the highs and lows of impulse buying. This is often referred to as retail therapy. Believe it or not, your brain actually releases dopamine at the sight of beautiful store displays and even the thought of acquiring new stuff.

If you follow these tips and really stick to your budget, I promise you will be set up for success as your kids head back to the classroom.

For more tips on planning for your financial future, pick up a copy of my newest book, “Faithful Finance: 10 Secrets to Move from Fearful Insecurity to Confident Control.” “Faithful Finance” is my practical guide, revealing ten life-changing secrets that work in every financial situation, for every income level, at every stage of life.

Debt – It’s Not All Bad

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shopping bags

One of the secrets to achieving financial freedom is learning to manage debt wisely. It used to be that having a credit card was a luxury or a rarity, but now most households have several of them. We can get exactly what we want today, regardless of whether or not we can actually afford it. If we’re not careful, we can become overextended on credit cards—it’s quite a slippery slope financially.

Just like any sin, a little is fun. We all like new stuff because it’s exciting to get new things. Current studies regarding brain research show how shopping activates key areas of the brain, making us feel better and boosting our mood, at least temporarily. Gazing into a beautifully decorated holiday window, or locating a hard-to-find toy, taps into the brain’s reward center, triggering the release of brain chemicals that give you a “shopping high.” This is where the term “retail therapy” comes from.

If you’re aware of the way your brain responds to shopping, it can help you make sense of the highs and lows of impulse shopping, avoid buyer’s remorse, and lower your risk for overspending. Shopping really can become addictive if you’re not careful. Under a mountain of stuff and debt, you may end up somewhere you never intended.

The Bible does not say that debt is a sin. However, debt essentially enslaves us to the one who provides the loan. Just like anything else that can be addictive if abused, a little is okay but a lot is overwhelming. At the same time, in some situations going into debt is a wise move financially. Debt can be used to purchase an item that will eventually lead you to financial freedom.

Examples of good debts are mortgages to purchase a home, or loans to start a business that will provide income for your family. As long as money is being handled wisely and the debt payments are manageable, it’s not sinful to take on debt. However, we’re required to pay back what we borrow. It’s very easy to take this lightly, but if we borrow it, the debt is our responsibility to pay back.

Obviously, in order to become financially independent, we have to save more money and spend less money. Taking out a loan is definitely an expense, especially if the interest rate on the loan is high. Please do not ever take on a debt, even a good debt such as a mortgage, if you cannot easily afford the monthly debt service payments based on your current income. In addition, if your income has a tendency to fluctuate from time to time, please take that fact into consideration as well before ever signing for a new loan.

Learning to avoid consumer debt is a paradigm shift for those who have gotten into the habit of putting everything on a credit card. Because credit cards are so easy to use, they can become a terrible temptation and financial snare to some people. If you find it difficult to pay your credit card balance in full each month, I advise you to cut up your credit card, work on paying off your current debt, and go to an all-cash system.

Some people keep credit cards for emergencies or international travel needs, but to avoid temptation, they will actually freeze the credit card in a block of ice! That way, if the temptation or legitimate need arises to use the credit card, they have to go through the trouble of defrosting it, literally, before they can use it. The frozen credit card is a deterrent that gives them time to consider whether or not the use of the credit card is a wise choice or not.

Friend, the takeaway here is to learn to control your spending,

not let your spending control you.

I want to advise you to do a self-evaluation of your spending habits. You’re the only person in the world who knows whether or not you have self-control when it comes to the use of credit cards. Having credit cards easily accessible in your purse or wallet at all times, may or may not cause you to spend money irresponsibly.

I want to be honest with you and tell you that I personally use credit cards. This may seem counterintuitive coming from the author of a book about personal finances. I personally use them for convenience. I purchase a lot of items included in my monthly budget with a credit card. For example, I use credit cards to pay expenses related to my children’s school, meal delivery services, and business expenses that require me to have a credit card to pay my bill online.

I also enjoy the benefits of airline miles as rewards for every dollar I spend. This rewards program saves my family thousands of dollars in travel expenses each year. Traveling and seeing the world is one of our passions. We look for ways to make it as affordable as possible.

I also use credit cards because I’ve learned to be disciplined and pay them off every month. As a result, I never pay late fees or interest on my purchases. I know that anything I charge on my credit card has to be included in my monthly budget. This is non-negotiable.

Take some time to reflect on this discussion about the use of credit cards and the management of all types of debt, both good and bad. If you’re married, please consider having an open and honest conversation with your spouse. Communication and honesty are very important when discussing issues that can either “make you or break you” financially.

If you want to dig deeper and have a much better understanding of how to achieve true financial freedom and manage debt wisely, then I encourage you to purchase a copy of my newly released book: Faithful Finance: 10 Secrets to Move from Fearful Insecurity to Confident Control.

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